One Parent’s Perspective: On the Importance of Trust

By Glen Weiner
April 23, 2026

This post is part of the “One Parent’s Perspective” blog series in which I explore topics related to youth mental health and wellbeing. I share my perspective as a parent and in my role leading the Coalition to Empower our Future (CEF), including what I learn from my own experiences as well as conversations with experts, educators and young people themselves.

I was talking to a friend the other day who told me about catching his son in a small lie. The boy said he had turned in a permission slip for a school field trip when he hadn’t. My friend didn’t explode or ground him for a month. Instead, he sat him down and turned it into a teachable moment about trust. He said, gently but firmly, “If I can’t trust you to be honest about something as small as a form, how can I trust you when something bigger comes up?” The conversation wasn’t about punishment so much as consequence and connection. My friend explained what trust looks like, why it matters and how to rebuild it when it’s broken.

My buddy’s response highlights something important about parenting today, namely the need to lean into trust rather than control. It’s tempting – especially in an era when a kid’s single bad decision can more easily be magnified – to default to rigid rules like blanket bans and zero-tolerance policies. I get it. Those responses feel decisive and protective. But from what I’ve seen in my own experience, in conversations with other parents and in conversations with young people themselves, those approaches, unfortunately, don’t build the skills kids need to navigate real life. Instead, they can create secrecy and fear, both of which undermine the foundation of a healthy, open relationship. New research validates these observations, showing that parent-child trust is built on consistency, clear expectations and accountability.

The debate over phones and social media is a case in point. Headlines often push the narrative that the only effect devices and technology have on kids is negative and that these devices and technology are the primary driver of mental health challenges. The reality is more complicated. Yes, there are clear risks. That said, phones and platforms can be sources of connection, information and creativity. Rather than defaulting to blanket bans that may drive kids to hide their behavior, a trust-based approach aims to teach responsible use and create an environment where kids feel safe coming to adults when problems arise. Children should be treated as partners in digital safety, not just as passive people to control. We must teach kids the skills they need and empower parents with the knowledge to know what those skills are.  

Practically, a trust-first strategy around screens could look like negotiated agreements rather than unilateral decrees. Parents and kids can co-create boundaries: screen-free family times, agreed app limits or shared check-ins. Schools can incorporate media literacy curriculum like those developed by Media Literacy Now to teach our kids how to think critically about what they’re seeing online, from the motive to the account posting, so they can recognize manipulative interactions. We can encourage our kids to show us the apps they use and to talk to us about what they see online. We can make it easier for them to come forward if something goes wrong, with the promise that honesty will be met with support, not punishment.

Educators and clinicians who study youth behavior emphasize that these nuanced approaches matter because adolescents are learning skills that they will carry into adulthood, such as impulse control, perspective-taking and navigating social norms. When we foster trust by engaging with kids rather than policing them from a distance, treating kids as active participants in their own lives, we create opportunities for growth.

This isn’t to downplay the real concerns many families face. There are situations where stern limits are appropriate, especially when safety is at stake. But leaning too heavily on prohibition can miss the chance to teach long-term resilience. We need policies and practices, at home and in schools, that balance protection with empowerment.

Trust requires talking, listening and following through. It asks parents to step into uncomfortable conversations and to accept that kids will sometimes fail. The payoff, though, is significant. Young people who know they can be honest with trusted adults are more likely to bring problems to light, learn from missteps and internalize the habits of responsible digital citizenship.

My friend’s quiet conversation with his son didn’t make headlines. It didn’t solve every problem kids face in the digital age. But it illustrated a simple truth: When we choose trust and open conversations as a starting point, we can open the door to teaching, repair and real connection.

###